I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
