I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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