She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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