there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
