is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
