I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
