3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
