I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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