I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
