Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
