So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
