There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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