His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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