K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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