I think scott just propositioned me for sex
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
