she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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