ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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