And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found your dick twin last night
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize