remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
