Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
