so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
