your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
