Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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