HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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