Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
