so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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