if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
