She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
