I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
