we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
