you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
