Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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