Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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