i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
