no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
