another moral hangover. fuck.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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