Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
