It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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