fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
