I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
