none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
