I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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