Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
