2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
