the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
