Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
