that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
