she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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