My brain says no but my pants say off.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
