i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
